You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
