i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
