I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
