put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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