Pappa wants mamma naked
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
