I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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