That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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