omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
