Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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