It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
