the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
