He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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