I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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