Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
