i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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