Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
