dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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