Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
