I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
