is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
