how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
