Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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