I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
