the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
whose parrot is this?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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