wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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