she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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