i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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