Im at strip club and am horny
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
