she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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