Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
