Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
