well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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