Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You need Xanax blowdarts
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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