I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
