question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
