Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
