My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
