Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
