Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
