no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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