I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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