he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
