just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If I die, sorry about rent.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
