be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
