I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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