So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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