im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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