school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
