I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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