Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
