i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
